Turkey Wrap it Up and Shut it Down

Is it just my neighborhood, or are people drinking like it's 1981 again?

Happy 4th of July! Not.

---

Turkey Wraps

• 1 (8 ounce) package cream cheese, softened
• 1/2 cup mayonnaise
• 1/4 teaspoon dried basil
• 1/4 teaspoon dill weed
• 1/4 teaspoon garlic in olive oil
• 10 (6 inch) flour tortillas
• 1 medium onion, sliced thin
• 10 (1 ounce) slices cooked turkey breast
• 10 slices cheddar cheese
• Fresh Spinach

In a small mixing bowl, combine the first five ingredients; beat until smooth. Spread over the tortillas.
Sprinkle with onion; top with turkey, cheddar cheese and spinach. 
Roll up tightly; serve immediately or wrap in plastic wrap and chill.

The Morning after Candle Salad

Candle Salad has made a come..back.

Most people don't know that it was Minnesota's own Betty Crocker who started this holiday tradition, and she was reeling them in early. Candle salad was in the Betty Crocker's Cookbook for Boys and Girls, published in 1957. You can get your very own free copy of this cookbook here. If the link goes dead, email me and I'll send you a copy (it's a 10 mb pdf file).

This recipe might explain the peculiarities of the Jones Generation (people born between 1954 and 1965). 

Of course you can squirt some Reddi-Wip on the candle, if you are so inclined. Aldi has their own magic whipped cream, half the price, most likely canned at the same location.

---

I don't know what to do about Christmas Eve and Christmas Day meals. We had ham yesterday for an early celebration; we ate turkey for a week after Thanksgiving; and my mom is making prime rib for the grandchildren Christmas on Sunday. I'm thinking about Shepherd's Pie with a cornbread topping. Sounds fitting for Christmas and remembering why we celebrate the day.

As I sat here making a grocery shopping list, I also decided that I would make a Christmas breakfast. Thankfully, this recipe involves minimal morning effort..

---

Morning after Candle Salad

• 1 loaf French bread 
• 8 large eggs
• 2 cups half-and-half
• 1 cup milk
• 2 tablespoons sugar
• 1 teaspoon almond extract (or vanilla) 
• 1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
• 4 ripe bananas, sliced
• carmel sauce
• canned whipped cream (for the table)
• butter (for greasing dish and the table)

Slice bread into 1" slices. Arrange in a buttered 9 x 13" baking dish in two layers, overlapping slices. In a bowl, mix eggs, half-and-half, milk, sugar, vanilla, cinnamon, and nutmeg with a whisk. Pour mixture over the bread slices. Cover with foil and refrigerate overnight.

Bake at 325°for about 40 minutes.

Heat carmel sauce in microwave, pour over casserole when removed from oven, top with sliced bananas and serve immediately. Individuals add butter and whipped cream.

As the Cookie Crumbles

I can't bake a cookie to save my life. More holiday guilt. Have you finished your Christmas shopping? I've bought one gift card. Have you wrapped all your presents? Did you know that Christmas Eve is only 11 days away? 
Everyone I know has everything they need, and they know it. My older kids just want money. My youngest wants presents, but she can't find anything she wants for a present. Want to know why? Because SHE ALREADY OWNS EVERYTHING. 
I've managed to avoid the cookie exchange for exactly 15 years. I actually ran away from home the morning after the last one I attended. This year, I did have one looming. Thankfully, a blizzard took care of that on Saturday.

So, I can't make cookies. Shoot me. I can, however, make cookie dough. If anyone here wants cookies, I will hand them a brick of dough and a pan.

---

Dough for Dummies

(one recipe, hundreds of variations)

• 3 cups all-purpose flour 
• 3/4 teaspoon baking powder (omit if making thumbprint with filling, ball or spritz)
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, softened
• 1 cup sugar
• 1 large egg
• 2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract

In a large bowl, whisk together the flour, baking powder and salt. Place the butter and sugar in a mixing bowl and beat on medium-high speed for at least 3 minutes or until pale and fluffy. Beat in the egg, mixing well after it's added, and then add the vanilla. Reduce speed to low. Add flour mixture, and beat until combined.
If not using dough right away, wrap well in plastic wrap and refrigerate overnight. You can freeze the dough: Wrap well in plastic wrap and place in a sealable bag. It will keep 1 month.

---

Chocolate variation: Replace 1/3 cup of the flour with 1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder.

---

Spice variation: Add 1-1/2 teaspoons ground cinnamon, 1/4 teaspoon ground ginger, 1/4 teaspoon ground allspice and 1/4 teaspoon freshly ground pepper when you add the flour mixture.

---

Citrus variation: Replace the vanilla extract with 1 teaspoon finely grated citrus zest (lemon, lime or orange) and 1 tablespoon fresh citrus juice.

---

Peppermint variation: Replace vanilla extract with peppermint extract.

---

Thank you Martha Stewart Magazine

Bring on the Bourbon!

This was my shopping list for Thanksgiving:

• Turkey
• Sage-Seasoned Sausage (fresh)
• Sage (fresh)
• Rosemary (fresh)
• Thyme (fresh)
• Celery
• Garlic
• Lemon
• Onions (white)
• Onions (yellow)
• Shallots
• Potatoes
• Sweet Potatoes
• Mushrooms
• Eggs
• Butter (lots!)
• Cheddar Cheese
• Evaporated Milk
• Olive Oil
• Brown Sugar
• Green Beans
• Corn
• Creamed Corn
• Cream of Mushroom Soup
• Chicken Broth
• Vegetable Broth
• French-fried Onions (sold out)
• Bread Cubes (I wanted bakery dried)
• Cranberry Sauce (had dried, but not canned)
• Pickles
• Black Olives
• Green Olives
• Sparkling Apple Juice
• Heavy-Duty Aluminum Foil
• 1-Gallon Zip Bags
• 1-Quart Zip Bags

The only items I couldn't purchase at Aldi are in red, the sage sausage is in green because it came from Trader Joe's (owned by Aldi). Have you been near a regular grocery story this week? Do people only eat once a year? The trip to Aldi took less time than the trip to pick up the items in red. There were fantastic sale prices at the other grocery stores, but I still saved $27 dollars by choosing Aldi.


I'm making two new recipes this year. One is stuffing with sage sausage and the other is sweet potatoes on the grill with fresh rosemary and olive oil. I'm on my 14th year doing an herb-infused turkey, which is a big pain in the butt, but worth it. We're also having our die-hard traditional mashed potatoes with shallot and herb gravy, green bean casserole and bourbon corn pudding. My mom is bringing dessert and rolls (my favorite).


This Thanksgiving I am feeling especially thankful for my husband. He offered to take everyone out for dinner this year (even researched places to go) because of how rapidly my health has deteriorated in the last 6 weeks, but I couldn't do that to the kids; so instead, he drove me grocery shopping and is planning to chop, dice and slice with me for a few hours tomorrow night to get ready.


Wishing everyone reading this a Happy Thanksgiving full of friends and family and good things to eat!

---

Bourbon Corn Pudding

• 3 large eggs
• 1 can evaporated milk
• 2 cans cream-style corn
• 3 cups corn (frozen or drained from can)
• 3 tbsp. butter, melted
• 3 tbsp. brown sugar
• 3 tbsp. cornstarch mixed with 3 tbsp. water
• 1 tsp. ground nutmeg
• 5 tbsp. bourbon (my friend Sara said molasses works great as a substitute and they carry it seasonally at Aldi) 
• 1/2 tsp. salt
• 1/2 tsp. ground white pepper

Preheat over to 350 degrees. Butter a 2-quart baking dish.

Beat eggs and evaporated milk together in large bowl. Stir in all remaining ingredients and pour mixture into baking dish. Bake 45 minutes or until slightly browned and a knife inserted in center comes out clean.

---

P.S. I still can't get the formatting right for this blog since I switched to a Mac!

The Push-Pull

I found this ingenious device in Arkansas, it's called a Push-Pull. It's for pulling the oven rack out and pushing it back into place. Yes, it's a stick.

It's September, so that means you are probably being pushed and pulled in every direction. Blame Jupiter, the giant magnet that takes over our September sky. You're probably too busy in September to even take 5 minutes to go look at what's to blame for your anxiety, so my plan today is to push you outside tonight when it gets dark. Jupiter hasn't been this close to us since 1963, and it won't be this close again until 2022.


This is what the Push-Pull sounds like (Jupiter in your brain):

So, get outside and shake your fist at the bane of your existence, or simply enjoy the bright pretty light in the sky. Here's an extra five minutes to make up for the time spent doing that..

---

Sweet & Sticky Chicken

• 4 chicken breasts
• 1/3 cup honey
• 1/3 cup soy sauce
• 1/3 cup olive oil 

Take a one gallon zip lock bag and pour in olive oil, then honey, then soy sauce. Add chicken breasts. Freeze.
Some night, when you don't have time to fix supper, dump contents of bag into a baking dish and bake at 325° for 90 minutes. 

---

Disclaimer: I do not own these recipes. I cook from memory and often adapt things I've seen, tasted, heard about, or read about.

P.S. Happy Birthday to my son Shane, the first love of my life.

Easy (i)Mac

I was pretty far up Bill Gates' butt, cheering him on as he amassed his fortune, and singing the praises of Windows. I jumped on the bandwagon at Windows 1.0 and never gave up, we're talking nearly 25 years of Windows. 20 years ago, I was gleefully telling my coworkers that soon everyone would be using Windows, it was the future. This sort of talk sickened the real programmer I worked with, he would sneer at me and tell people I was neurotic. Didn't phase me. Then, along came a mandate that hundreds of work stations needed to be transitioned to Windows 3.11. Guess who became the neurotic? It's been a great marriage.


So.. last week, I converted to Mac. It's been fairly smooth so far, mostly since I realized that Mac chose left-handers over right-handers and said, "now you live in our world, deal with it." It's not easy to go against 90% of the population and survive, and then thrive. 


I'm still learning that "X-ing" out of something doesn't really end it, it just makes it hide. "Quitting" something is where it's at. I am considering a name change to . 


Bill Gates, I quit you.


We all know that a major relationship breakup requires some comfort food, and what is more comforting than..

---

Easy (i)Mac (and cheese)

• 8 oz. macaroni, cooked and drained
• 3 cups shredded cheddar cheese 
• 1 cup shredded mozzarella cheese
• 2 eggs
• 1-1/2 cups milk
• 3/4 stick butter
• 1 can evaporated milk
• salt and pepper

Melt butter in Crock Pot.
Layer macaroni and cheese (saving some of both cheeses).
Beat eggs and add both milks and pour mixture into Crock Pot over macaroni and cheese.
Top with remaining cheese.
Cook on low for 3 hours.

---

Disclaimer: I do not own these recipes. I cook from memory and often adapt things I've seen, tasted, heard about, or read about.

Under Pressure

I recent became an iConvert, so I gave my Blackberry to my oldest son. He said, "I'm going to feel like a jerk." That's how I feel when I go to a grocery store where someone bags my groceries for me. Somewhere along the line, that became my job. It wasn't a job I did well, there was too much pressure - as soon as I got started, the person behind me needed my space, much the same as the short stint I did working at the Jolly Green Giant factory in Glencoe, Minnesota when I was 18. My "job" there was to line up cobs of corn on a conveyor belt under a laser beam so they could go through a cutter to make perfectly sized frozen cobs of corn so people could enjoy that summer feeling all year round. My hands were next to the guillotine and I had steam under my feet and cold frozen air above me, all while standing on a 1' square platform, six stories above the ground. I would glance around me and see others visiting pleasantly in Spanish, while easily keeping up with the conveyor belt, all while my corn kept piling up like a disaster on the interstate during rush hour. I lasted about 6 hours. The next day I signed up for Fall classes at the AVTI to become a bookkeeper (that's what we called accounting in the early 80's).


Aldi understands grocery bagging pressure. Your groceries go back in a cart for you to take to a long counter to bag at your leisure. If you want to put laundry detergent in the same bag as your vegetables, you have their blessing.

I haven't written recently because I have been on two vacations, one from heaven, and one from hell. The first was spent in Fairfield Bay, Arkansas. The second was spent in front of my broken computer. I am happy to say that I am now writing from a new iMac, a gift from the husband I do not deserve. I haven't figured out universal formatting, hence the odd look to today's entry.

---

Spaghetti Pie

Toss cooked spaghetti, parmesan, and egg. Place in 9" pie plate. Press along sides and bottom to form a crust.

• 8 oz. spaghetti, cooked and drained
• 1/2 cup grated parmesan cheese
• 1 egg, slightly beaten
• 1 lb. ground beef, cooked and drained (or ground turkey/vegetarian substitute)
• 2 cups spaghetti sauce
• 8 oz. shredded mozzarella cheese

Mix cooked meat and spaghetti sauce. Spread over spaghetti crust. Sprinkle with mozzarella cheese.
Bake at 350° for 30 minutes or until thoroughly heated. Let stand 5 minutes before cutting into pie slices.

---

Disclaimer: I do not own these recipes. I cook from memory and often adapt things I've seen, tasted, heard about, or read about.

East Side Insalata Caprese

My husband drinks tomato juice like other people drink water. It makes a glug-glug-glug sound when he's pouring it out of the can. I can't leave the house without him saying, "I'm almost out of tomato juice." He also loves all kinds of tomato-based foods, especially Swiss steak, which I made for supper tonight.

So.. you'd think that he'd love fresh tomatoes, right? No, he won't touch them. He even makes a face when he's looking at them, and I've seen him fling a tomato slice off a burger faster than a magician could make one disappear. Two of my kids, however, LOVE fresh tomatoes, and last week, we were given some beauties from the Pearson garden in Mound, Minnesota {{thank you again}}. I have two left and they are going to disappear like a rabbit under a top hat tomorrow. 

Our house has been torn apart from one end to the other for the past two weeks and that made me forget about food and blogs, so I apologize to my 3 followers. My youngest finally got her grown up bedroom remodel, it's pink on pink on white. Of course that led to another thing that needed to be changed/fixed/cleaned, and another and another. My favorite new thing is carpeting on the stairs. If I had a laptop, I would be sitting on the new carpeted stairs writing this. I still am not iPad savvy for writing beyond a sentence or two.

Aldi is now stocking fresh mozzarella cheese. I don't know about you, but nothing excites me more than a ball of cheese in an open cooler. I don't know who is making this cheese for them, but it slices perfectly and tastes heavenly.

---

East Side Insalata Caprese

• fresh mozzarella cheese ball(s), sliced 1/4"
• tomatoes (same size as cheese if possible), sliced 1/4"
• fresh basil (or you can use this stuff but it won't be as good)
• olive oil
• coarse ground salt
• coarse ground black pepper

Stack cheese slices on top of tomato slices and arrange on a plate.

Tear up pieces of fresh basil and scatter over the top.

Sprinkle with salt and pepper.

Drizzle with olive oil.

---

Disclaimer: I do not own these recipes. I cook from memory and often adapt things I've seen, tasted, heard about, or read about.

Hamilton Beach Model E Food Mixer Instruction Manual

The instruction manual for my new toy arrived today. As I was looking through the brittle 75 year old pages, I realized that I might be the only person in the entire world who owns this booklet, and that isn't right, so I have decided to share it. It wasn't an entirely selfless act, as it stinks to high heaven. I could smell it before I even reached the mail box. It has that grandma's farm-house cupboard drawer stink which is completely repugnant in a nostalgic sort of way. 

I hope you realize that you will now be seeing Hamilton Beach Model E Food Mixers everywhere now. That's called the Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon.

If you arrived here only to steal view this rare booklet, please leave a comment. My three followers and I would really appreciate having something new to read. HINT: If you click on each photo, the image becomes very large, and if you right-click on the photo, you can save it to your computer forever.

---

---

Disclaimer: I do not own these recipes. I cook from memory and often adapt things I've seen, tasted, heard about, or read about.

Tow'Mater Corn

I've got St. Louis ribs in the crock pot, smothered with Sweet Baby Ray's. I won't eat the ribs because I had to wake up and look at them in their raw state and then had to grill the fat off them. That image gets burned in my mind for a few days. 

One of the things I love most about my husband is that he never complains about food. I spent 10 years in proximity of someone who did nothing but complain and criticize everything I cooked, and nearly everything I did or said. Of course I didn't believe it. I am part of the Free to Be... You and Me generation. My husband was from the Age of Aquarius generation, the two fit nicely together.

Normally I'd be all about the fresh veggies, but not when it comes to frozen corn or frozen skinny string beans at Aldi. Don't you hate it when you buy fresh corn-on-the-cob and it isn't very good? That will never happen with Aldi frozen corn. Never. Never is a good word. So is always. Saying, "I always almost never," before a statement will keep you out of trouble if you know someone who likes to call out your bullshit.

I am going to make this masterpiece tonight to sit beside the ribs. You could also do it in a crock pot, but mine is busy right now.

---

Tow'Mater Corn

• 1 bag frozen corn
• 1/2 lb. bacon, fried and crumbled
• 1 onion, chopped
• 1 can diced tomatoes (or very ripe garden tomatoes, if you have them)
• salt and pepper

Place the corn, half the bacon, onion and tomatoes in a pan and cook slowly until nearly all the liquid cooks out. Mix in rest of fried bacon and salt and pepper.

---

Disclaimer: I do not own these recipes. I cook from memory and often adapt things I've seen, tasted, heard about, or read about.

All Mixed Up and Going Bananas

It's Lumberjack Days in Stillwater, Minnesota, the birthplace of Minnesota. My husband, youngest daughter and I went yesterday afternoon. We watched the K9 show and wandered through the vendors and then went to Mill Antiques in the old saw mill.. where I found a 1936 Hamilton Beach mixer for $35. Whomever owned this beauty did not like to cook because it looks brand new. It's identical to the KitchenAid on sale at Amazon.. well, give or take a pair of glasses.

I like knowing that women in Minnesota and Wisconsin owned mixers during The Great Depression. They probably got a big discount since they had to build them. I also like that this mixer is not worth much because it LASTS FOREVER, probably because it was built by women.

Then, I bought the instruction manual on eBay last night..

I am really excited to see all the attachments that I cannot get for it. It came with the small bowl with the pouring lip, but the juicer was missing. That's okay, it's pretty weird looking anyway (found this picture online)..

So, onto using a mixer for something totally cool that involves egg whites. If you don't have an awesome mixer like mine, you'll just have to come over and eat this at my house. There's no food depression happening here. That's because I shop at Aldi.

 

---

All Mixed Up and Going Bananas

• 1 tbsp. melted butter
• 2 ripe bananas (as ripe as possible without being rotten)
• 1 large egg yolk
• 1 tbsp. lemon or lime juice
• 4 tbsp. sugar (just get the sugar out, you need 2, then 1, then 1)
• 2 tsp. vanilla 
• 3 large egg whites
• tiny bit of salt
• powdered sugar (to sprinkle on top)

In a small mixer bowl, blend the bananas, egg yolk, 2 tbsp. sugar, lemon or lime juice, and vanilla on a slow speed until smooth. Pour into a big bowl and set aside.

Butter 4 soufflé cups and coat with 1 tbsp. sugar (pour loose sugar from one to the next to the next).

In the large mixer bowl, beat the egg whites and the salt until it kinda peaks. Then add the 1 tbsp. of sugar left and beat until it peaks and is glossy.

Use a spatula to fold the egg whites into the banana batter - just do about 1/4th at a time. 

Fill soufflé cups to the very top, you can jiggle or tap them to make sure they're full.

Bake on a cookie sheet in a preheated oven at 400° for 15 minutes, but watch them the last 3-5 minutes as they grow way above the top and you want the tops to look brown.

Sprinkle with powered sugar and serve immediately.

---

Disclaimer: I do not own these recipes. I cook from memory and often adapt things I've seen, tasted, heard about, or read about.

Smear Campaign

I have an addiction to happy kitchen dishes, knives, appliances and gadgets. Fiesta had been fulfilling that need, but.. now I've found the greatest bowls on earth, which happen to have a Zero Landfill Policy and a Recycle-a-Bowl Program. They are called CaliBowls, and I love them! After an unfortunate graduation party accident that nearly left me footless (refried beans [aka napalm] spilling out of a bowl onto my bare foot), I have total confidence that a CaliBowl would never have harmed me in such a vicious manner. 

I wish people came with a "no-spill" lip, as my feelings were recently napalmed, but, such is life, hopefully that will heal faster than my foot.

One of my favorite things about Aldi is that they always have avocados in stock and in varying states of ripeness, and they always cost way less than anywhere else. Sometimes they are only 29¢.

This is something you can spread on anything, I haven't found one thing that doesn't taste better with(out?) avocado, except maybe chocolate, but I haven't tried it.

---

Smear Campaign

• 1 big ripe (or 2 small) avocado
• 1/4 tsp. minced garlic in olive oil
• 1/2 cup plain yogurt
• 1 tbsp. mayonnaise
• 1 tbsp. lemon juice (or a packet of True Lemon or True Lime)
• 1 tbsp. very finely chopped onion

Cut avocado in half and remove the pit, scoop the fruit into a bowl, and mash it with a fork. 

Add other ingredients and mix thoroughly.

NOTE: The secret to keeping avocado-anything green is to keep the air out, so if you store this, put a piece of wax paper over the top of the spread before you seal it in a container.

---

Disclaimer: I do not own these recipes. I cook from memory and often adapt things I've seen, tasted, heard about, or read about.

Herb Infused Oil

It's the middle of summer today, so you can either say summer is half over or we still have half of summer left. That's the power of mediocre thinking.

I am going to deviate from Aldi today. Actually, my Aldi is becoming too scary to shop at and I am too lazy to drive 9 miles to one in a retirement community. My choices for Aldi seem to be risking my life or getting rammed in the back with a shopping cart by an elderly person asserting their independence. I am partial to the life-risking because those people are damn interesting. Yesterday, I listened to two women shouting at each other from across the store - one would be in aisle 1 while the other was in aisle 4, or one would be in the front of the store, while the other was in back. It went on for a good 10 minutes and was entertaining. The man who reeked of urine was not.

So, Aldi has a sibling rival. He is Trader Joe. It's a cool story, you should google it sometime. Anyway, Trader Joe must be the pot smoker in the family, because once you walk in the store, you are greeted with fresh flowers and colorful fruit and all the employees are wearing Hawaiian shirts and want to be your best friend.

Trader Joe's has the best price on olive oil and Dr. Bronner's Magic Pure Castile Soap and I often run out of both at the same time. Of course you can get olive oil at Aldi too, but it's not a big bottle. I have to have the big bottle. You will not find fresh herbs at Aldi. You might find the seeds to grow your own. Ironically, its probably easier to buy pot in front of Aldi than in front of Trader Joe's. I don't know this for certain.

I think you could experiment with this recipe and make some nice skin products too. It worked for Palmolive.

---

Herb Infused Oil

• 2 cups olive oil
• 1/2 cup fresh chopped herbs (rosemary or basil are nice)

Place olive oil and herbs in a Crock Pot and cook on high uncovered for 2 hours. Allow to cool for about 30 minutes.

Drain using a white paper towel as a filter to catch the herb pieces. Transfer drained oil to a sealed jar. Store in the refrigerator. It will stay flavorful for about a month. Don't panic if it gets cloudy, it will look fine once it is room temperature.

Use the oil for bread dipping, or to coat pasta or anything else you can think of. This is an easy thing to bring to someone's house or a gathering with a few loaves of sliced french bread from a bakery (Trader Joe's has great bread). You can tell people you infused your own oil and they will be impressed. Or not.

---

Disclaimer: I do not own these recipes. I cook from memory and often adapt things I've seen, tasted, heard about, or read about.