The Morning after Candle Salad

Candle Salad has made a come..back.

Most people don't know that it was Minnesota's own Betty Crocker who started this holiday tradition, and she was reeling them in early. Candle salad was in the Betty Crocker's Cookbook for Boys and Girls, published in 1957. You can get your very own free copy of this cookbook here. If the link goes dead, email me and I'll send you a copy (it's a 10 mb pdf file).

This recipe might explain the peculiarities of the Jones Generation (people born between 1954 and 1965). 

Of course you can squirt some Reddi-Wip on the candle, if you are so inclined. Aldi has their own magic whipped cream, half the price, most likely canned at the same location.

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I don't know what to do about Christmas Eve and Christmas Day meals. We had ham yesterday for an early celebration; we ate turkey for a week after Thanksgiving; and my mom is making prime rib for the grandchildren Christmas on Sunday. I'm thinking about Shepherd's Pie with a cornbread topping. Sounds fitting for Christmas and remembering why we celebrate the day.

As I sat here making a grocery shopping list, I also decided that I would make a Christmas breakfast. Thankfully, this recipe involves minimal morning effort..

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Morning after Candle Salad

• 1 loaf French bread 
• 8 large eggs
• 2 cups half-and-half
• 1 cup milk
• 2 tablespoons sugar
• 1 teaspoon almond extract (or vanilla) 
• 1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
• 4 ripe bananas, sliced
• carmel sauce
• canned whipped cream (for the table)
• butter (for greasing dish and the table)

Slice bread into 1" slices. Arrange in a buttered 9 x 13" baking dish in two layers, overlapping slices. In a bowl, mix eggs, half-and-half, milk, sugar, vanilla, cinnamon, and nutmeg with a whisk. Pour mixture over the bread slices. Cover with foil and refrigerate overnight.

Bake at 325°for about 40 minutes.

Heat carmel sauce in microwave, pour over casserole when removed from oven, top with sliced bananas and serve immediately. Individuals add butter and whipped cream.

Recipe for Disaster

Take one large group of people that hate taxes, even though the majority of them get back more than they pay. Mix in some paranoia, anger, talk radio and news programming.

Add some stale politicians who aren't fitting in too well with peers - they could be ones who hate gay people but somehow are found hanging out with gay people; or those who go on about the sanctity of marriage but keep getting caught cheating on their spouses.

Mix vigorously.

Then add people who invested in a "sure thing," such as real estate. Bring to a slow boil.

Slowly add those who want to legalize drugs. There are two types, and make sure you add both: Those who would never do drugs and they'd rather have "those people" pay all the taxes; and those who think they can get the drugs they want a lot easier if they are legalized.

Mix very slowly, as the whole recipe could flop on this step.

Pick out any darker-skinned people who may have gotten mixed in when you weren't paying attention - if you aren't sure, error on the side of caution; then bake for about 4 months. You'll know when its done because none of the ingredients will be working with each other, you'll hear a droning sizzling shouting sound which defies logic and reason. You'll see cracks along the surface.

Frost with Magical Thinking. The best type is those who think that if they work hard enough without government interference or regulation, they will become a large corporation and have all their dreams fulfilled. If that frosting is too rich for your taste, add those who believe that their thoughts create happiness and other people's thoughts create unhappiness.

Decorate with guns for protection and misspelled signs on toothpicks.

Stand back and wait for the explosion. Pick up the pieces strewn about, and attempt this recipe again in 30 years.

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Crock Pot Caramel Rolls

• 2 pkgs. refrigerated biscuits
• 1/4 cup melted butter
• 1/2 cup brown sugar
• 1 tsp. cinnamon

Grease crock pot with a bit of the melted butter.

Mix sugar and cinnamon in a bowl. Dip individual biscuits into melted butter and then into the sugar mixture. Place biscuits into crock pot and cover. Cook on low for 2-1/2 hours.

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Arizona Egg Bake

My daughter wanted "kind of runny with a nice shape eggs" for breakfast yesterday and today. That means over-easy. Over-easy is hard. 

Eggs are pretty fascinating. When I take an awful drug called Decadron, I crave eggs. I used to think it was because of the protein, but now I think its because an egg yolk is one of the few foods that has natural occurring Vitamin D. My brother told me that our family has issues with Vitamin D. Now, I am constantly hearing about the benefits of Vitamin D. My best friend says that's called a Baader-Meinhof.

My dad ate a dozen eggs a day. He apparently needed a lot of Vitamin D, or maybe it was because he had chickens and was poor. I don't know, but he sure liked eggs.

My mom gave me this recipe. I usually make it when we have overnight company.

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Arizona Egg Bake

• 3 cans diced green chiles, drained
• 1 lb. Monterrey Jack cheese, sliced
• 1 dozen eggs
• 1 16 oz. tub sour cream
• 1 tbsp. butter

Grease 9 x 13 baking dish with butter.

Spread diced green chiles on bottom of dish, arrange cheese slices on top of chiles, covering them.

Beat eggs, then mix in sour cream. Pour over chiles and cheese.

Bake at 375° for 30-35 minutes, or until a knife poked in the center comes out clean.

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Disclaimer: I do not own these recipes. I cook from memory and often adapt things I've seen, tasted, heard about, or read about.

Potassium Wake-up Call

So I'm still hung up on this bird thing. Today, a pair of Cardinals decided they were going to use the gazebo light for a nest too. They had already brought about 5 twigs to the top of it. I've watch them for days go from tree to tree together trying to decide on a nesting spot and of course they decided on the light when I wasn't paying attention. I love Cardinals, they have such good relationships - always working together, always communicating. Cardinal males should be the leading example for human males. My husband is a Cardinal. Sometimes he can be a Blue Jay too though.

My husband decides to end this game and he fixed the light with a bird-speak "off limits" sign (a.k.a. an Aldi tall kitchen garbage bag) before the nest building got further out of hand. It was very sad. The female kept coming back and looking at the light and then would fly over and talk to the male and then go back to the light. I almost ripped the plastic bag off and screamed, "have the damn light, I can't take the guilt anymore!"

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Potassium Wake-up Call

• 1 ripe banana
• 1 cup milk
• 1 tsp. instant coffee
• 1/2 cup vanilla yogurt

Blend until smooth (blender, Magic Bullet, food processor, hard labor).

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Disclaimer: I do not own these recipes. I cook from memory and often adapt things I've seen, tasted, heard about, or read about.

Crock Pot Sunday Breakfast

If I was a nice mom/wife, I would make this right now. Aldi closes at 8 pm Monday-Saturday and I don't have enough eggs, and of course we don't have any bacon - bacon disappears here as fast as it's purchased. 

I don't like Aldi's hours, but I really shouldn't be in East St. Paul past 8 pm anyway. I thought about going to Cub in my pajamas. I am wearing scrubs and I think I could pass myself off as a tired medical worker on late shift.

Every time you lift the lid on a crock pot, you need to increase the cooking time by 30 minutes - just leave it alone, everything in there is fine.

The reason why evaporated milk is used in a recipe like this is because it doesn't curdle. Generally you shouldn't add milk, cream, cream cheese or sour cream to a crock pot until the last hour of cooking.

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Crock Pot Sunday Breakfast

• 1 bag diced potatoes with onion
• 1 lb. bacon, fried and crumbled
• 1 onion, diced
• 1 green bell pepper, diced
• 2 cups shredded cheddar cheese
• 1 dozen eggs
• 1 cup evaporated milk
• 1 tsp. pepper
• 1 tsp. olive oil

Place olive oil and potatoes on the bottom of the Crock Pot.

Divide bacon, onions, green pepper and cheese into thirds and layer on top of potatoes, ending with a layer of cheese.

Beat eggs, milk and and pepper. Pour over the layers, cover and cook on low for 8-9 hours or on high for 4-5 hours. 

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Disclaimer: I do not own these recipes. I cook from memory and often adapt things I've seen, tasted, heard about, or read about.