Friday, June 18, 2010

Recipe for Disaster

Take one large group of people that hate taxes, even though the majority of them get back more than they pay. Mix in some paranoia, anger, talk radio and news programming.

Add some stale politicians who aren't fitting in too well with peers - they could be ones who hate gay people but somehow are found hanging out with gay people; or those who go on about the sanctity of marriage but keep getting caught cheating on their spouses.

Mix vigorously.

Then add people who invested in a "sure thing," such as real estate. Bring to a slow boil.

Slowly add those who want to legalize drugs. There are two types, and make sure you add both: Those who would never do drugs and they'd rather have "those people" pay all the taxes; and those who think they can get the drugs they want a lot easier if they are legalized.

Mix very slowly, as the whole recipe could flop on this step.

Pick out any darker-skinned people who may have gotten mixed in when you weren't paying attention - if you aren't sure, error on the side of caution; then bake for about 4 months. You'll know when its done because none of the ingredients will be working with each other, you'll hear a droning sizzling shouting sound which defies logic and reason. You'll see cracks along the surface.

Frost with Magical Thinking. The best type is those who think that if they work hard enough without government interference or regulation, they will become a large corporation and have all their dreams fulfilled. If that frosting is too rich for your taste, add those who believe that their thoughts create happiness and other people's thoughts create unhappiness.

Decorate with guns for protection and misspelled signs on toothpicks.

Stand back and wait for the explosion. Pick up the pieces strewn about, and attempt this recipe again in 30 years.

Crock Pot Caramel Rolls
  • 2 pkgs. refrigerated biscuits
  • 1/4 cup melted butter
  • 1/2 cup brown sugar
  • 1 tsp. cinnamon
Grease crock pot with a bit of the melted butter.

Mix sugar and cinnamon in a bowl. Dip individual biscuits into melted butter and then into the sugar mixture. Place biscuits into crock pot and cover. Cook on low for 2-1/2 hours.

1 comment:

  1. O so funny! Love this, especially the frosting. Someone needs to give this girl a regular column. Seriously. She is a fantastic writer, witty and current, not to metion a great little recipe provider.

    Greatly enjoyed this!